liar

Somedays, I can't believe how great life is. Other days, most days, it's all I can do to keep moving, just keep going. I have the hardest time even doing that, let alone praise God for the strength that HE is providing me with. Nobody ever tells you how tiring high school really is...and how much you REALLY just want a good night's sleep....Sleep would be nice...

Nothing's wrong with me

"You may find me just a little strange
I like dancing barefoot in the pouring rain
My mind is racing at the speed of light
I'll dance around you like a satellite

I'm reckless
Your speechless

Chorus:
Scream, shout, I love it loud
I feel the need to stand out in the crowd
Nothing's wrong with me
Nothing's wrong with me
Freak out, I stand my ground
Nothing in the world is gonna keep me down
Nothing's wrong with me"

- "Nothing's wrong with me" by the Zetta Bytes, featured in the movie Pixel Perfect

Am I so intimidating that you can't just tell me the truth? Or am I just so unimportant that I don't even deserve to know? All I ever wanted was the truth...

Barlow Girls

"All the boys in the band
Want a Valentine
From a Barlow Girl
They think they're the bomb
'Cuz they remind them of their mom

All the boys in the band
Want a Valentine
From a Barlow Girl
They think they're the bomb
'Cuz they remind them of...THEIR MOM!"

Safe

Right now, I'm just so worried about all the people from my youth group going to Jamaica. I know that it's all in God's hands but I just want them to be safe. I'm just going to keep praying for their safety, and for them not to do anything stupid while they're down there, because I don't want any of them to get hurt. God, just please keep them out of harm's way.

Ironic

Remember that oh-so-innocent child I entered middle school as? That little girl, with her lists of what she wants in life, of what she wants in her friends, of what she wants in a guy, in that guy. That little girl grew up and has learned that, ironicly, even though she still wants those same things, she still has the same standards, perhaps a little higher. But ironicly, he has nailed almost every single one of them and I don't want him to. He has faults. Blaringly loud, annoying faults. And he still fits nearly every single one of my requirements for that guy, the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. And the ones he doesn't fit, it's because we're in high school. Irony: Everything I ever wanted, I'm getting; but it doesn't seem so important to have it right now and I'm not sure I want it any more.

By your side

"Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you"
-Tenth Avenue North

Scream

"Does anybody know how I feel?
Sometimes I'm numb, sometimes I'm overcome
Does anybody care what's going on?
Do I have to wear my scars like a badge on my arm
For you to see me, I need release"
-"Scream" by ZoeGirl

A showering of love

Ebenezer Journals = amazing
Every day, you think of the little (and big) things that made life worth living just a little bit more, the things that may just seem like luck but are really God working in your life, and you write it down. It doesn't seem like much, but then you come to these days that life sucks. It's just so hard to see why God would even want you to carry out his plans. But, maybe, just maybe, you've been writing one of these journals. So you decide "Okay, maybe I'll just take a look if God actually ever works in my life." And so you look at these pages that are already filling up after a few days and you think...wow. God really does love me.
Ebenezer Journals = a reminder to keep living

Tied Together with a Smile

"Hold on, baby, you're losing it
The waters high, you're jumping into it
And letting go, and no one knows
'Cuz you cry, but you don't tell any one
That you might not be the golden one
'Cuz you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone"

-Taylor Swift, "Tied Together with a Smile"

Because, sometimes, just sometimes, it's just so hard to smile.

Laughing at my self on the inside

I think I've almost gotten to that one point that I know once I reach it, everything is going to seem a million times harder, and at the same time, a million times easier. I find myself doodling pictures of hearts, pictures that are throughout my notebooks and in all my thoughts. And this is me! I'm supposed to be the level-headed, head-above-the-water, down-to-earth girl. Not the romance loving, head-in-the-clouds, everything-is-going-to-turn-out-alright child. I find my thoughts and even my, dare I say it (or even think it), dreams turning to him. What is wrong with me? I think I almost know, but I don't want it to be true. So I'm laughing at my self on the inside.

Rain

Rain. It's so...hard to explain. But so beautiful. Love is almost like the rain because you can feel it when it's there. Softly caressing your face...or raging and wild, uncontrolable, never-want-to-live-without. Love.

...I got an "I heart ?" written on the back of my hand...

"I got an 'I <3 ?' written on the back of my hand" from Taylor Swift's song "I <3 ?"
Updates:
Stressing over: life *sigh*
Addicting Songs: "I <3 ?" "Tied together with a smile" "Outside" "Free to be me"
Bible: Reading a lot of Romans and 1 Corinthians, loving Proverbs 31 (especially Proverbs 31:30)
Favorite Verse: Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Maturity level: increasing greatly. I almost feel like I've already learned all of the life lessons that high school is supposed to teach me.
Already thinking about: COLLLEGE! Yep, already. In fact, I nearly snapped at one of my friends for saying "it's freshman year. you can chill. it's not going on your transcripts or anything" suuuure, hun, suuuuuure.
Wanting to: Sleep. A lot. A lot a lot a lot.
Can't wait to get my...: New MP3 Player! It's called a Zen 0.0

With love from above,
Abby

M.I.A.? I think not.

I am "officially" re-starting this blog. I haven't posted in, I think, a little over a year. And, since tomorrow is the last day before my spring break, and spring is always a fresh start for me, I might as well re-start the blogging now. Updates:

Boyfriend: Sort of
Friends: Wow, they're crazy
Writing: Still working on the novel, and writing LOTS of poetry
God: Closer relationship than ever
Maturity: I'm finally growing up
Other: I got a double piercing in my ears and, well, a few other things.

I'll start writing more tomorrow and, hopefully, I'll start getting back into the habit of blogging every day. Off to the huge choir concert!